Such A Silly Game We Play
by babysquirrel
Summary: First love. Or something of the sort. T for some language.
1. Prologue

An: Hello! I am very new to this fanfiction writing thing. In fact this is my very first attempt. I just hope I do not do that bad. This story is loosely based on a movie I really like and I thought that maybe I could use some ideas from it. If you can guess which one is it I will give you a cookie or something. I have to say that english is NOT my first language, hopefully I will be doing ok, but be kind. Im thinking about writing from 8 to 12 chapters. Lets see how it goes. Review please! It is what keeps someone writing after all. (Despite me being more of a babbler than a writer).

Disclaimer: The only thing I rightfully own is a stupid student loan. So yeah, not even my soul is mine, I sold it.

xoxo

If someone asked me to start from beginning I would probably slap them. Mainly because I'm not really sure when it started. This story is more than just a silly little tale that I would tell my grandchildren (Even though I probably will). This is my story. My tale. My love.

I was born in a very big city. A city that has a life of its own and seems to be in constant movement. I actually believe that that city is a recurrent character of my life. I am talking about New York.

I definitely didn't grow up knowing everything a kid could about love. My parents weren't the most affectionate people out there. How they met and their time together is what I would imagine the opposite of a love story to be like. My cousin Daniel waited until I was of age to tell me their "fairytale". It is not something you would like your little girl to hear. My father was a bar tender in my grandfather's small tavern. Which I must say isn't located in the safest part of town. It was a cheap shit hole with choppers as its main customers. Dad was 23 years old and wanted to be a writer. He begged for higher education but he was the only male child my grandparents had, so he was bound to take care of the family business even if he didn't like it and thought he was too good to listen to drunken escapades, lame jokes, and motorcycle equipment. My father was very smart, and spent his whole free time reading from Charles Dickens to Günter Grass. He got a couple of scholarships to attend several decent colleges, but his father wouldn't budge. That's how he started getting bitter. I guess that is what happens when you love something so much and for some stupid and absurd reason you are not allowed to pursue it. I suppose that is pretty relatable. Dad didn't have many friends. He grew up around men who drank cheap beer and had a pretty misogynist idea of what being a man was, there was no room for sensitivity or daydreaming, my father was an odd kid, according to the people he had contact with. He worked in that bar from 7 pm to 4 am, which was closing time. He didn't have much time to meet people. Certainly he didn't have time or a lot of desire to get a girlfriend.

At least no until he was invited to one of his father's gatherings in some family friend's house. He wasn't really sure why his dad's friend asked for him to go, he guessed it was just some sort of a "nice thing to do" and this friend was being polite, but he didn't say anything, unnerving his father was the last thing he wanted to do. So he attended. He arrived with his dad and a bottle of cheap whiskey. There were only men in said place and they were playing poker while smoking huge cigars, which my father thought were probably bought in a convenience store. Soon enough, his father was immersed in the game cursing and laughing with his friends while dad sat in a small sofa by himself. He didn't really play poker nor had any money to gamble to being with. So he was just focused on unimportant thoughts when he saw some movement in the porch. Without saying anything he exited the house and observed the large bench by the door. A girl with long brown hair and a blue dress had her sight lost on the street. Doubtfully, my dad coughed a bit too loudly to make himself noticed, and the girl looked startled his way. I don't really know for sure, but Daniel said that my dad's breath got caught in his throat when he saw just how beautiful the creature in front of him was, I think Daniel was just being a romantic bastard, but the only thing I have on the matter is his word, so I might as well consider it. Besides this, what I really know for sure was that she had dark deep blue eyes, and that is just because I have the same shade on mine. My father was a loss for words and the girl with him wasn't much help, just staring at him with her mouth slightly opened. Dad actually believed they were having some kind of moment until said girl freaked out. She stood up and asked him who he was, in a very alarmed manner that confused the man. He calmly tried to explain who his father was and the reason for being there tonight. The girl just looked at him for a few moments and disappeared through the door, leaving my father to think that this girl was quite odd. But the actual bad thing about this was that he found it attractive. My dad was a stupid man.

Stupid and very stubborn. And a bit stalkerish if you think about it. Being the romantic he was, he started to investigate the girl, her name, where she went to school to (she was still in high school and nowadays my dad could go to prison for that), and overall just decided to chase her. He believed that she was the love of his life and their story would begin with just the right push. She wasn't really that interested at the beginning. She avoided him and ignored him most of the time. It was a hard chase. As much as she was beautiful she was rude, and as sweet as she looked she was cold. But my father was very happy to continue his futile pursuing, he couldn't think of anything else than how soft her hair was (despite to never have touched it) and how bright her smile was (despite to never have seen it). He was obsessed. A year passed by uneventful. And suddenly from one day to another she changed her mind. If my father was as smart as he was supposed to be, he would have notice how weird this was, but he was stupid and in love, so he paid no mind and his happiness was never ending. They dated for 6 months or so, and what she didn't do she made up with words. She was still cold and didn't like to be touched, but said such sweet words that my father thought she just had to get used to him. Just after the first three months ended she told him she wanted to get married, and the way she did it was a bit pressuring, she wanted to get married as soon as possible. My father would have liked to be the one to "propose" to this "little angel" but still, being the idiot he was he couldn't get over the happiness of her wanting to marry him.

So they got married in a very rushed ceremony and had the blessing of his and her parents. He was glowing with pride and wanted to form his little family with the girl, he was just full with joy. The girl was another matter. She seemed happy for the first three months of marriage, at least enough to put out a couple of times. My dad was ecstatic and he had this idea formed in his head of how he felt, how she felt, and how everything was going. But sometimes, people can fall into illusions if that is what they really want, it is very easy to lose grasp of reality if everything around you is a fantasy. And that is exactly what it was. The now "woman" got pregnant, and it really wasn't the happy ever after my father was expecting. My dad was really excited about being a father, but her wife started to withdraw herself more and more from him in such a way that he actually noticed. She didn't let him touch her and he believed it was because she was hormonal, so he let her be. Sometimes she cried herself to sleep at night and dad felt like dying just by seeing her suffer like that and not being able to do anything about it. If she talked very little at the start of her pregnancy, at the end it was weird if she uttered a word. But finally she gave birth to a healthy daughter, the only thing she did well in her whole life. My father was joyful and celebrated the whole night. When he arrived home the only thing he could find in the small apartment was me crying in my crib, totally alone. My mother left us the same day I was born. Later on, everyone found out that she was dating and in love with some married construction worker who had 2 kids and a blind wife. Her father didn't let her be with him, even when this man talked to him saying that he would leave his family. So, the dude started pressuring his kid into being with my dad when he found out that my father was stupidly in love with his daughter. He threatened her with sending her to a convent in Maine where his sister, who was a nun, lived, and he might have said some stuff about hurting the man she was seeing, who is so clearly a victim in this tale. That was why she agreed to start dating my father, whose only sin was being an idiot. When she got pregnant she couldn't handle anymore how she would never be able to be with her caveman again, so she fled. No one knew anything about her after that. She just disappeared. Like my dad's will.

I grew up with my dad being a single parent. He was never very affective, didn't talk much and got drunk a lot. He never hurt me, at least no physically, nor said mean things to me. But I did notice the looks of hurt and resentment he gave me when he thought I wasn't looking. I never lacked for a roof or food, I went to school and used to play around freely, but I probably lacked a father. I am convinced he was not a bad man, even though he was an awful parent. He worked in that holy tavern his whole life. When he wasn't there, he was at home watching TV and drinking cheap beer. Half the time I would arrive from school to find him passed out and snoring loudly on the sofa. The other half he would be reading the same fucking book over and over again. It was that story about that Werther dude. I read it when I had just learnt how to and couldn't understand it at all. It wasn't until years later that I did. And then my father died.

He had a very severe case of cirrhosis and no one, but him, knew it. He never told anyone. I was 7 years old. I remember being in class when my cousin Daniel arrived and picked me up. When I saw him I couldn't help but smile, he was my favorite person in the world and the only relative we still had in the city. He gave me a little sad smile and grabbed my hand after I had put everything in my backpack. We walked until we reached home, having my hand tightly secured in his, with me talking non-stop about how I wanted a Spiderman costume for Halloween. He didn't say a word but lightly smiled at certain points of my rant. When we arrived home he became very serious and told me to sit down in the sofa. I did and he started talking about how my dad had a problem and no one knew how bad it really was. He told he died because he drank too much and how he was in heaven now with my mother (that was the story I was made believe until I turned 15) and what was going to happen next. My cousin lived in a very small cellar inside the bar. Daniel was 19 and his parents had moved to California 3 years before. He had decided to stay and work in dad's bar and continue the family business. My dad was in that moment the owner, since that was the only thing that his father left him. Daniel was going to move in with me, because fortunately my dad owned the apartment where we lived, to take care of me, and he will continue working on the tavern, as it was the only way we could be having an income. So that was how Daniel became my guardian.

My life changed a lot after that. Daniel was no parent, and despite having nothing to replace, he didn't become my father figure, but he certainly was like an older brother. He looked out for me and advised me when I had any sort of trouble. His views may have been a bit questionable, but I was glad I had someone to actually back me up. He taught me how to defend myself, because I punched like a girl (wonder why), how to play sports, and to appreciate good music. On his free evenings we would lay together in the floor while listening to his old records. He showed me everything he knew, and that is more than I can thank him for, that was what really mattered.

To say I was a bit of a tomboy would be an understatement. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was pretty comfortable with my girl "status", but I was a bit rough around the edges. While the other girls were having tea with fake biscuits, I was beating up Billy Rogers because he had said I was an orphan. While other girls were playing with dolls I was in Central Park playing baseball with Dan. And while other little girls watched unintelligent cartoons in TV I was whining for not being able to go to a concert just because I was young. Daniel just let me be. He was always saying how I could be the greatest pitcher the Yankees had ever seen, or if I wanted to be a superhero I could become one. Being a girl never really got in the way.

I remember the day I arrived crying because some boy had been mean to me. Daniel got really mad, but at me. He told me that I shouldn't let some other kid treat me in a way I didn't deserve and I had to learn to defend myself. The next time someone said something about me to hurt me I did defend myself. Daniel had to go to school to talk to the principal about my unacceptable behavior, and despite nodding to whatever crap that old lady was saying, he had a small smile in his lips. He never said anything, but smiled all the way home.

Overall, my life was pretty simple back then. I did well in school, was very focused in my "sports career", and wandered around my neighborhood having lots of "adventures", which included just riding my bike around and exploring the area. Yes, life was pretty simple. Until my first year of middle school.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: First official chapter. I hope it turned out decent enough. Please do review, I would like to know if you are actually liking it. Cheers!

xoxo

That first day of school I woke up really late and groaned when I saw the clock on my bedside table. I stretched a bit and hopped into the shower. I cleaned up as fast as I could and grabbed the first garments that got on my way. I tied up my hair a bit messily and put on my favorite baseball cap. I ran into the kitchen and ate my sugary cereal as quickly as I could. When I finished I took my teenage mutant ninja turtles backpack and a brown bag with my lunch in it (lunch that Daniel made every morning before going for a jog), I searched for my keys and upon finding them I ran out the door.

My bike was in the first floor and I didn't have much of a problem to take it out on the street. Once riding it I calmed myself down. I couldn't get over the feeling of the light breeze caressing my cheeks. An instant smile appeared in my face. Today was going to be a good day.

I was never terribly social, but I did have some friends in school. My best friend's name was Jesse Swanson and he was the goofiest and, sometimes, the most annoying eleven years old ever. We were always together and I used to bug him telling everyone he was my sidekick, which isn't that far from the truth. His mother had a little cafeteria close to school and his father lived in Chicago with his second wife. I loved going to his house, his mother always had delicious treats to eat and she was a very kind woman. She always helped both of us to get ready in Halloween; the year before we had been Mario and Luigi. Obviously I was Mario. Because I was the leader and badass one, not because I was the shorter one. Right. Besides Jesse, there was another girl named Amy that I used to hang out with. She was a bit overweight but paid no mind to it, and wasn't really bothered when kids said mean things about it. The only one that got bothered was me, and we know how that ends. She was really funny and even though she didn't like the same games me and Jesse did, she was always keeping us company and telling us weird tales about Tasmania, where she had lived her first two years of life.

Those kids were the best back then. But of course not all children are that nice. There were certain individuals that were just unbearable. Like, for example, Aubrey Posen. I think her dad was a lawyer, she was quite wealthy. She was in my class because her family believed in public education. She was a pain in the ass. She never really attacked me or anything, but she always looked at me with a frown, almost if she thought I was a very annoying specimen. Which I wasn't. I think. She always talked about stupid crap like play dates and going to the beach for the weekend and shit like that. She was the annoying one. Her hair had to be perfect every second, and we were just extremely lucky to be in the same room as her for more than a second. Right.

That day I arrived a bit earlier that I expected. Class hadn't started. I entered my classroom tentatively, looking around a bit worried, and making sure I knew where I should be at. I relaxed when I saw Jesse with a smile on his face waving at me, motioning the seat beside him in the back row. I smirked and sat there, putting my stuff on the floor and fist bumping with Jesse.

-How have you been? Haven't seen you in like weeks! - He said a bit too excited.

I rolled my eyes, a craft I had mastered by watching Daniel interact with other humans.

-I saw you 4 days ago Jesse, but anyways, I haven't done much, just stayed home. - I answered a bit regretful that I had nothing exciting to talk about.

Before he could say anything else the teacher got in the room. He was bald and had glasses bigger than my fists. This actually is not saying much. His mustache was gray and fluffy. It looked like he had a hamster on his face. I chuckled to myself and tried to listen to what he was saying. Something irrelevant probably. Suddenly there was a knock in the door. He stopped talking and answered to the call. Through the door walked a girl. She had long red hair and sparkly blue eyes, a big smile adorned her face and had such a bubbly aura that I couldn't but shiver. Why in hell would this girl be happy to be in school? It was the first day of class and I couldn't wait for the weekend.

-Well, little ones- started the teacher standing next to the girl-This girl right here is Chloe Beale, and she just moved to the city, please be nice and help her as much as you can in getting used to the city.-

The girl just smiled and held her bag tightly against her chest. The teacher told her to take a sit and she started walking towards me. I furrowed my brow. For a second she looked at me and smiled. And my frown was gone. She sat in the only available chair in the classroom, which was the one in front of me. I shook my head and decided to pay attention in class.

Before school ended that day, the teacher decided to pair us up so we could work in a Project regarding the solar system. I really wasn't listening that much until he said he was going to tell how the pairs were going to be formed, I looked at Jesse and shrugged, he looked back and smiled a bit doing the same. Then the teacher started forming the teams by names.

-Bumper with Kimmy Jin, Donald with Benjamin, Jesse with Aubrey. - I think Jesse's face went as white as milk in that moment, and I couldn't but to chuckle a bit. –Denise with Stacie, Cynthia Rose and Lily, Chloe and Rebecca.-

_"Who?"_

I didn't remember a kid called Chloe in the class. I started looking around until I saw the red mane just in front of me. Of course. I, having the attention span of a baby squirrel, didn't remember that the girl in front of me was named Chloe. I sighed bored. Hopefully she wouldn't be annoying as hell, and maybe we could do this without anyone dying. I leaned a bit into my chair and caught some sort of scent. Was that something fruity? I couldn't really determine what was I smelling nor where did it come from when the bell rang and everyone started packing up and talking to their partner. I saw Jesse standing up in defeat and started walking towards the blonde witch. I snickered until the redhead in front of me got my attention. She stood up and started looking around, like trying to find something.

-Rebecca? Rebecca? - She asked twice before I realized she was looking for me.

-It's Beca. - I said calmly making her turn around abruptly to face me. When she did see me she had a smile so big I thought her face was going to break in two.

-Hi! Sorry, I didn't know who you were. - She said still smiling.

I just shrugged. What could I say?

-So, when can we work on this Project? - She asked, looking at me intently. I put my cap on and started getting my stuff back in my backpack.

-Well, I guess you can tell me when you are free and I will tell you if that works for me. - I said without much energy.

-Could that possibly be today? I really need to start working on this. I have a lot to do next week. - She told apologetically.

-I guess. Do you want to work here? - I asked when I was finished zipping my bag and putting it in my back.

-Would it be much trouble if you could come with me to my place? My mother will come pick me up right now and we could use the ride.-

I nodded, I mean, it is not like someone would pick me up. I had planned to leave on my bike anyways. And then I remembered.

-Um, that's fine, but, I came to school on my bike, and I can't just leave it here.-

-Oh, don't worry, there is enough space in the trunk, surely it would fit. - She said brightly.

I nodded again not knowing what else to say. She just stared at me for a second before grabbing her stuff and motioning for me to follow her. I did it without much talking. It was a bit tiring actually. We waited for her mum a little while on a bench outside of school, already having my bike with me.

-So, your name is Rebecca, but you prefer Beca? - She asked curiously. I looked at her for a second before turning my eyes back to the road answering.

-I hate when people call me Rebecca. No one uses that name really. I go by Beca. - I said without looking at her, my eyes glued to the street.

-Oh, ok. - She said, and I could "hear" her smile.

-So, are you from here? From New York? - She asked after a few seconds. I just nodded.

-You live far from here? - This girl was weird, why was she asking so many questions? And why was she still smiling?

-Um, not really, maybe 15 minutes on my bike.-

-It is a very cool bike. - She commented admiring my baby. I looked at it. I wasn't really that neat, I mean I loved it, but the paint was fading and some big scratches were showing. It surely looked like it had seen better days.

-Uh, thanks, I guess. - I shifted a bit uncomfortable, not knowing why this girl was still talking.

-I live really close by too; it will take nothing to arrive home.-

I nodded again. Hoping this girl would take the hint. It was not like it pissed me off or anything. It just wasn't something I was used to. And I found really rare that some girl I've never talked with before seems to want to know stuff about me.

-Oh! That's her! - She stood up and pointed a black SUV that was reaching us. I stood up too and grabbed my things while the car stopped in front of us. A woman with long wavy red hair and eyes just like Chloe's got out of the vehicle and smiled when she saw me.

-Hi! I'm Chloe's mum! Are you my daughter's friend? - She asked, possibly wanting me to just say yes or something, and before I could say anything Chloe answered.

-Yes, she is! - Her excitement made me arch an eyebrow. When had we established we were friends? Because I didn't remember it. It was a bit annoying. -She will come home with us mum; we are going to be working on a project together.-

She started going to the trunk and told her mother to open it. Her mother did while she was saying how much she liked living in this city now, and all the cools things that they could do here, I just pretended to listen and nodded while I was getting my bike into the car.

The whole ride was like that. Mrs. Beale just kept telling silly stories, which were quite boring actually, Chloe made some comments at certain points, and I just kept nodding as if I actually understood what they were saying. I didn't even realize when we arrived. I was a bit distracted with my own thoughts. Them being whatever I was going to have for dinner that day. Mrs. Beale parked her car and told us to get off, I aimed to walk to the trunk to get my bike but she told us to go ahead and enter their apartment and she would get it for me. I thanked her briefly and suddenly Chloe took my hand and started to drag me into the building. While running. I really thought I would hate this girl by the end of the day.

We got into the elevator and we didn't say a word. Which was kind of awkward. When we arrived to the fifth floor she got off and I followed her. She started walking towards a white door and fumbled with her keys. Finally she opened the door and told me to go in.

-Take off your shoes! - She yelled while she just ran off somewhere.

I frowned and rolled my eyes. What an annoying girl. I took off my shoes and looked around. Then I realized Chloe's parents must had been well off. Like really well off. Everything looked clean and just neat. They had a huge TV in their living room and I stared at it for a moment. I was just wandering around when I saw that at the end of the room there was a glass door, and behind it there was a little balcony with a table and some chairs, you could see the park from there. It was a very beautiful view. I stared at it in awe and didn't notice when Chloe got back.

-What are you doing? - She asked cheerfully. I jumped a bit and turned to look at her. She had startled me, but I wasn't about to admit that.

-N... nothing, just looking at the park. - I said trying to steady my breathing.

-It is a very nice view huh? It's my favorite thing about this place. - She said with a smile. I just nodded. It was indeed.

-Let's go to my room, we can work there and get a bit more comfortable. - She said while grabbing my hand again and leading the way. I wasn't a big fan of physical contact, and it really surprised me how this girl didn't doubt at all to enter into my personal space. I thought I was kind of intimidating. We got into her room. It was pink. No shit. It was bigger than mine, and in her bed were resting a lot of fluffy pillows with several stuffed animals just lying there.

This girl was definitely a very girly girl, something I really wasn't. She let go of my hand and motioned for me to sit beside her on the floor, while getting out the contents of her bag. I did the same, getting my notebook out and getting prepared to do whatever she wanted to do with this boring Project.

-Well, I guess we should start working. - She grabbed a pen and looked thoughtful for a bit. –Would you mind if I put some music on, it helps me concentrate.- I just shrugged while going through my notebook trying to find some notes, which obviously weren't there because I had paid no attention whatsoever today in class. Suddenly a familiar sound arrived at my ears. I looked up to see Chloe sitting down again with a smile on her face.

-You know David Guetta? - I inquired a bit surprised. She had put on one of my favorite songs.

-Yeah, he is pretty big isn't he? I don't live under a rock or something you know. - She chuckled a bit and I couldn't but smile at that.

-Yes, he is. - Then we started working on our Project with David Guetta playing on the background. Two good hours went by, with me actually concentrating on the task that Chloe had given me, I didn't realize it then, but I had started to tap my fingers against my leg following the rhythm of the song that was playing and started to hum the lyrics along with it. Suddenly I realized that Chloe had stopped working. I looked up to find her staring at me with her mouth open and her eyes shining. I don't know why but just looking at her face I started feeling very embarrassed.

-I didn't know you can sing!- She almost yelled excitedly.

-I don't- I answered a bit confused.

She laughed, she actually laughed and I could feel my face getting red and warm.

-You do! And oh so well! We should sing together!-

-No, no, we shouldn't, it is not a thing we should do.- I started shaking my head, a bit scared about the determination that I could see in her eyes.

-Yes we could! Come on! Let's do it! You start, then I will follow you! - She insisted. I was still shaking my head and looking everywhere but her when she grabbed my arms to get my attention. I looked at her and she was pouting, showing the biggest puppy eyes I had ever seen. It made me a bit nervous and I didn't know why. I wasn't one to get nervous.

-Please, just this one time! - She almost begged. I was about to say no again when I realized how close her face was from mine. And how bright and big her eyes really were. She had some light freckles in her nose, and her rosy lips were smiling at me. I stopped myself from saying anything, and looked into her eyes. There was something there but I couldn't pinpoint what it was. I had never felt so confused in my life. What is wrong? Why am I feeling so weird?

-Come on, please! - She asked one last time a bit more quietly and I dumbly nodded at her request. She sat back down and stared at with me with a smile. I cleared my throat a bit, because for some odd reason it was really dry and started singing.

_"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away, fire away"_

Then she joined me, and I couldn't help but to notice how well her tender and soft voice blended with my lower and huskier one. I kept looking at her eyes while singing, I was entranced. At the moment I thought maybe I was about to get sick, maybe I was suffering from cold symptoms. When we finished the song we just stared at each other. My face must have been the one of a fish out of the water, looking at her in awe. How could someone sing so well? And how could our voices blend so deliciously? Just like milk and chocolate. She smiled the biggest grin I had seen in anyone, her eyes twinkling. I couldn't but to smile back. Her grin was somewhat infectious.

-I think we are gonna be fast friends.- She declared looking right into my orbs.

There was a comfortable silence for a couple of seconds until a knock on the door was heard. The door opened and her mother walked in with a tray of cookies and two glasses of milk. Twenty minutes ago I would have probably rolled my eyes because it was a very childish thing to have for a snack, but in that very moment I gave her mum a shy smile and a quiet thanks while grabbing a cookie. Chloe and her mother started talking of how were we doing with our work, Chloe gave her a whole speech of how we were the greatest team ever and how well we were doing. She talked with something like excitement, moving her hands a lot, and her mother just looked at her with eyes full of contentment. Chloe tilt her head a few times to the side, and I couldn't help but to notice that no matter how she moved, her hair always fell in a very pretty way. I felt a churn in my stomach.

I was probably going to get sick.


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: A longer chapter. Hope you like it. Again I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I did double check but I can still mess up. Cheers!

Jesse and I talked the next day. We were just getting out of class and about to start our break. I walked slowly with him by my side seeing Chloe from afar; she was walking with Aubrey Posen and talking animatedly. I couldn't help scowling, and a second later I really hoped that Jesse hadn't noticed it. My face started getting warm. Yep, I was definitely getting the flu or something. I looked her way again and I felt really bothered. Why was she talking with Posen? And where was she going with her? Were they going to have lunch together? I had been watching her back during class, literally, and I found out that it wasn't as boring as I thought it would be. Her hair moved from time to time, and her breathing made her shoulders go up and down softly. I felt really strange being able to watch her like that without her noticing it. I had never been so observant before. Not with anything, not with anyone. I lost sight of her when Jesse patted me in the back to get my attention. It seemed like he was talking to me and I was too distracted to actually listen to him. I just mumbled a quiet sorry and he seemed fine with it-

-So, I heard you went to that girl's place? - Jesse asked carrying his paper bag with him while walking in the hallway.

-You heard that because I told you this morning before class- I answered rolling my eyes.

-That's not the point. How was it? What did you do? - He asked mildly curious. I felt the heat on my cheeks but Jesse didn't notice, or at least didn't say anything about it.

-Just worked on that stupid project- I scowled. Well, we kind of did.

-And how is she? Is she a pain in the butt? - He said sounding like a forty year old woman with an unhealthy love for gossip.

Finally we reached the door for the yard and got close to a big wood bench that was getting a nice ray of sunlight.

-She… she's not that bad I guess. - I said as I sat and got my hand into my lunch bag to get my sandwich. Jesse did the same moments later, never getting his eyes off my face.

-Not that bad? - He asked sounding highly confused. He finally got his lunch out and took a bite while looking pensive with a brow furrowed.

-What? - I questioned looking at him. What the hell was he thinking?

-I don't know. It's just something I never thought I would hear from you. -

-Me saying that someone is not that bad? - I arched my eyebrows a bit offended.

-No. You saying that some _girl _is not that bad. - He answered wiggling his sandwich around to make his point.

-What does that even mean? Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? If you haven't noticed, I am a girl and I do have friends that are girls. - I defended myself.

-Besides Amy you don't. -

-What's wrong with Amy? -

-She's weird-

-That's my friend you are talking about. -

-Relax, I didn't mean it like that and you know it. She's my friend too. It's just… well; Chloe seems like a very normal girl. -

I huffed. Chloe Beale? Normal? That didn't make sense at all. She was the weirdest person ever; she had no knowledge of personal space and had a cheerfulness that was a bit worrisome to make up for it. And I had never met someone like her before.

-She is not that normal. - I said after a while.

-So, she is a weird one too? - He asked truly curious.

-I didn't say that! - I answered a bit too harshly. For some unknown reason I felt like I was being offended.

-Hey, calm down, what's got you so jumpy today? - Jesse sounded worried when he said that and I just sighed.

-Nothing, I'm just tired. -

He looked at me for a couple of seconds and finished his lunch. He grabbed my trash and went to throw both his and my garbage in the bin. When he got back he was smiling.

-Let's play basketball. Maybe that will calm you down a bit; you are a bit annoying today. - He started walking towards the basketball court that was on the other side of the big yard. I rolled my eyes and followed him.

There were just two or three boys on the court playing and Jesse talked to them into letting us play with them. That was something that Jesse did. I couldn't do that, I don't know why but I didn't like asking favors from people. I was standing there doing nothing while Jesse and the boys were talking about how we were going to play when I felt like someone was looking at me. I turned my head to my left and I saw her again.

She was seated in a picnic table with Aubrey Posen talking. A very uncomfortable feeling in my stomach appeared. It was like a ticklish sensation that made me feel some sort of emptiness in the bottom of my belly. Suddenly she turned my way and we locked eyes. I just stood there, staring at those sparkly blue eyes without paying much attention to the rest of the world. She lifted her hand up and waved at me, saying hello or something. I clumsily did the same thing when the ball hit me in the head. It didn't make me fall but it sure as hell hurt.

-What the hell was that? - I cursed at some boy who looked like he was about to shrink while I was rubbing the side of my head.

-I'm sorry; I thought you heard us when we said the game had started. - There was genuine fear in his eyes, and even if I was actually pissed I decided to just let it go for now.

-Whatever. Give me the ball. – I said rolling my eyes. Just before I started dribbling, I looked at Chloe's way again but she was back talking with Posen and was definitely not looking at me. I sighed and the game started.

xoxo

I arrived home that day as fast as I could. I didn't even look at Chloe when classes ended and just hurried to get my stuff together and get out of the building to get my bike. The trip didn't take me more than ten minutes. I really wanted to get home, somewhere I could be safe and not feel weird all day.

I got to my building, parked my bike and got in without losing much time. We lived in the second floor so I always used the stairs. I rushed through them and almost fell a couple of times. Finally I reached my door and opened it. I threw my backpack to the floor, and not looking where it landed I headed to my room. Only to be stopped by a voice.

-Hey Hobbit! Come around and sit here for a bit, you have to tell me all about your day. -

I breathed deeply and turned around, walking to the living room where my cousin was watching the TV, he was just playing with the remote and surfing through the channels, not really stopping at one to actually watch something.

I sat down and grabbed one of the soda cans he had beside him. I opened it and took a big gulp.

-So, how was your day Frodo? - He asked not even looking at me, his eyes fixated on the screen but still he had a little smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes at the nickname. It was either that or Hobbit. I do admit that I was a bit short, but still, it wasn't like I was a dwarf or something.

-Fine. - I responded eloquently.

-Don't be such a grumps and talk to me. - He said chuckling and turning off the TV, giving up on finding something that was actually watchable. –Why did you arrive late yesterday? You weren't here when I left for work. You got me worried there, dude. -

-Sorry. - I mustered. –I forgot to call; I went to some girl's place to work on a project. I got here at 5:30 or so. -

-It is fine Frodo; just don't forget the next time. - I nodded and continued to sip my drink.

-So, you are friends with this girl? She is not Amy right? I swear I never see you with no one but her and Jesse. - He began to bug me. He thought that maybe making fun of me in a friendly way would make me realize that I needed to start talking to people. I got the message though. And guess what? I just rolled my eyes.

-Amy and Jesse are enough. I don't need any more friends. - Dan rolled his eyes in amusement. –And no, I wouldn't say this girl is my friend. -

-Why? Is she mean? - I shook my head. –Is she stupid? - I shook my head again. –Well, then maybe she is just annoying? - The first hour with her I would have said yes, but now… I wasn't really sure.

-I don't really think so. - I said a bit unsure.

My cousin looked at me with curiosity.

-Not annoying? Ok, then why isn't she your friend? - He asked.

-I'm not four Dan, it doesn't just take to share candy and then you become friends. It is a bit more complicated than that. - My cousin laughed out loud, and I couldn't feel more annoyed. Did I say something funny? My thoughts were a joke or what?

-I'm sorry Frodo. I just remembered some joke I heard at work last night. - He said while easing his breathing. Obviously I didn't believe it but I let it slide.

-Yeah well. That is why. - I said a bit more confident.

-Ok, then what does it take for someone to be your friend? -

-I don't know. A lot of talking I suppose, sharing things besides candy. Um, maybe going places together. - I tried coming up with a good answer but it was all I could think of.

-That seems reasonable, so why don't you do these things with someone like that girl you just worked with. -

-Her name is Chloe. - I didn't know why I had the need to clarify that. Daniel smiled.

-Ok, so why don't you do these things with someone like Chloe. -

-I don't know.- I shrugged. -She might not think I'm cool. - I answered. As soon as that left my mouth I became truly worried. What if she didn't think I was cool? What if she thought I was lame? Or wasn't really interested in becoming my friend?

-But little dude that's impossible! You are the coolest hobbit ever! - He said ruffling my hair. I just groaned and pushed his hand out of my head.

-But seriously Frodo! Think about it! Promise me you will try to make friends, try getting close to that Chloe girl. You now have an excuse to talk to her. Will you work with her again? -

-Probably, we haven't finished our assignment. - I told him, thinking about his words.

-Then get together again; you can always use this place you know. - He said with a smile. –Ok, Frodo I need to go, there is food in the fridge, I will be back very late like always, ok? Have a nice night. - He rambled getting up from the sofa and grabbing his messenger bag, he put on a beanie that was left in the counter and waved before leaving. I waved back without much energy and lay on the sofa as soon as I heard the door closing. I stared at the ceiling. So, it would be possible for me and Chloe to be friends?

xoxo

Two weeks went by uneventful, with me trying to pluck up the courage to talk to her and just ask her about the project. But every time I was about to do it, I chickened out. It was really eating me up. It didn't help how Aubrey Posen seemed to be monopolizing her time. She was always with her. Talking surely about stupid shit, because what else could come from her mouth? Sometimes I saw Chloe giving me brief glances in between Aubrey talking and breathing. When I caught her doing that I couldn't but look down. It made me very nervous, and when I thought I could look back at her she was concentrated in whatever Aubrey was saying. I wanted to knock my head against my desk.

It was the beginning of the fourth week of school when we talked again. I was saving everything into my backpack, getting ready to go home, when suddenly I heard her excusing herself with Aubrey when the latter wanted to get out of the classroom and she walked back to where I was.

-Hi! - She greeted with a small smile on her face.

-Um, hi! - I responded trying not to look like an idiot.

-How have you been? We haven't talked in a while. - She asked thoughtfully.

-Yeah, uh, I've been, you know, fine. Cool. Yeah. - What the hell was wrong with me? I sounded like I was retarded. What if she now thought I was mentally challenged? I cursed at myself with exasperation. I begged my brain to start working like a normal organ.

She just giggled and her eyes twinkled and my heart started beating like the drums from a very fast paced song.

-I was thinking, we should get together again to work on our project. It is due next week. - She said stating the facts that I had obviously forgotten.

-Right! The project! Um, when and where should we work? - I asked, glad that I could actually form sentences.

-It might as well be today, we are bit pressured. - She told me with a smile. –I'm sorry for coming to you until now, but I just couldn't find the moment to talk to you. -

-Um, why? -

-Well, I have been having a lot of stuff to do with my dad lately and at school Aubrey has been hanging out a lot with me, and well, you are always with that boy, the one with the goofy smile. -

-Yeah, Jesse, yeah, sorry. - I said not even sure why I was apologizing.

-It's ok. Would it be cool if we go to your place instead? - She asked.

-Um yeah, sure, right now? - I questioned, making sure this was going to happen.

-Yeah. - She chuckled, probably laughing at my clumsiness.

-Ok, I lead the way then. - I smiled as normally as I could and motioned for her to follow me.

xoxo

We walked from school to my place that day. I was pushing my bike lazily and glanced at Chloe from the side once in a while. She was talking about her aunt getting married next month, and how she was going to be the flower girl.

-I love my aunt and all, but I do feel I am too old to be her flower girl. - She snickered with a pink blush creeping on her cheeks.

I just looked at her trying to appear uninterested.

-I am going to go with mum to a boutique next week so I can find a dress for the wedding. - She started while looking ahead. We were almost home.

-Would you like to go with me? - She asked shyly.

-What? - I was confused; I had been a bit distracted, torn between my thoughts and the perky redhead beside me.

-I asked if you would like to go with me and mum to a boutique next week, I need to find a dress for my aunt's wedding. Weren't you paying attention? - She rolled her eyes and smiled.

-I was. I just, um, got a bit distracted. I guess I could go. - I answered looking away. I didn't really want to meet her eyes.

-Great! - I could hear her lips and eyes smiling and I almost shivered. Almost.

We arrived at my building and left my bike on the first floor. We rushed up through the stairs and arrived at my flat. I opened the door and she followed me close behind.

-Could I use your phone? - She questioned cheerfully. –I have to call mum and tell her I'm here so she can pick me up later.

-Yeah sure. - I answered getting the phone from the living room and handing it to her. I saw Daniel, who I hadn't noticed before, laid in the sofa and looking from me to Chloe curiously. The redhead was about to say something but I stopped her.

-Call your mum; you don't want her to be worried. - I said interrupting whatever she was planning on announcing. She just smiled and nodded dialing the number and walking to the corner of the room.

I looked back at Daniel and frowned when I saw him about to burst out laughing, barely controlling himself.

-What is so funny? - I whispered angrily.

He just shook his head. Before I could think of stating anything else, Chloe got back to where we were and smiled at me thanking me. I just nodded and was about to start walking to my room when Daniel decided to talk.

-So, are you a friend of Beca's? - He asked addressing Chloe.

-Yes! - She answered excitedly. –We are friends and partners for a project, that is why I came here on the first place, sorry if I'm intruding. - She smiled shyly.

Daniel grinned at the polite little redhead.

-Not at all. You must be Chloe, Beca here has told me a lot about you. - I wanted to punch him. Or throw myself out of the window. Couldn't decide at the moment.

Chloe turned to face me and beamed at me.

-Is that true? - She asked her smile not fading.

I was going to say it was just some dirty lie and Daniel was a mental case. But seeing the way it made her happy I just rolled my eyes and shrugged.

-Well, make yourself at home. I won't be bothering you girls; I have to go to work. See you later. - He said standing up and winking at me before he went out.

If anyone needed to warm up something in that moment, the ideal way to do it would be putting it on my face. I cursed Daniel on my head and turned to see Chloe, who had this confused look on her eyes. If I hadn't known better I would have thought she was studying me. I decided it would be best if we went to my room and started our work.

I started walking and motioned for her to tag along. When we got to my room I quickly went to my stereo and put on some music. I threw my backpack at the floor while I did.

-Um, would you like some juice or something? - I asked suddenly feeling very awkward.

-A glass of water would be fine. - She said while smiling.

I nodded and rushed out of the room, reaching the small kitchen. I poured her and myself two glasses of water and got back to my bedroom. She sat on the floor her eyes closed humming the song that was coming out of the speakers. I couldn't say anything though I wanted to. I was lost on her and didn't know how to get back. I stood there possibly looking like an idiot until she opened her eyes and smiled at me.

-I didn't hear you come in.-

-I just got here, don't worry. - I lied and gave her the water. She thanked me quietly and took a sip.

It didn't take that long until we got to work. I really gave my best to concentrate and do a good job. I wanted her to be glad to be paired up with me, so I did try to work hard, but from time to time I couldn't avoid looking up to see her. She was so focused in what she was doing, biting her lip at certain moments and sometimes she even crumpled her nose. I couldn't help thinking it was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

_"Cute? Where the fuck did that came from?_

Still, I didn't let myself stare for too long. I mean, how embarrassing would it be if she actually caught me? And I had to do the stupid project so I just breathed deeply and looked back at my notes.

The afternoon went like that with me being a nervous wreck for some unknown reason, and Chloe just working in total contemp. I didn't even notice how time when by, and the next thing I knew it was already 4:30. Her mum was coming to get her at 5:00 and we had just finished our assignment. She turned to me after she had organized her stuff and started talking.

-So, who was the guy that was here when we arrived? - She inquired.

-He is my cousin Daniel. He lives here with me. - I replied giving her my whole attention.

-Oh, so how many people are living here then? -

-Just us two. -

She paused taking in my retort. She looked confused. Was the fact that I didn't live with my parents bad?

-Then where are your parents? - She probed quietly. I gazed into her light blue eyes. She looked concerned. But why? It wasn't like it would affect her in any way.

-My dad died four years ago, and I never met my mother, she died just after I was born. - I stated simply. I mean, it wasn't like I didn't care, but I had gotten used to it, the idea wasn't as depressing as it might have been.

-I'm so sorry. - She gasped and she truly seemed to be. She looked sad. Why would she? I didn't like to see her like that, but at the same time knowing that she somehow cared about something that was related to me made me feel a bit lightheaded. I felt my stomach twisting into painful knots and my throat getting uncomfortably dry.

-It's ok. It's no big deal. - I remarked attempting to pull off all that sadness from her face.

We just let the silence reign over while gazing at each other. I can't tell how much time went by. I was just so _at ease_ watching how her eyes glowed. Suddenly the bell rang in breaking off my trance. Chloe grabbed her things, gripping her bag tightly and smiled softly at me.

-It must be my mum; it's time for me to go. - I nodded at her walking along with her to the door. Before getting out she looked at me and gave me a bigger smile.

-I really can't wait for next week. It will be so much fun. Don't forget you are going with me to pick up a dress ok? See you later Beca. - She went to see her mother who was at the end of the hallway, the perky redhead hugged her mother tightly for a minute and then they both waved at me before disappearing in the stairs. I would have liked to say something when she said goodbye. But seeing her smile just made me lose any kind of control over my voice.

-Bye. -

A/N: Tadaaa! Please review! It will make me want to update faster. Lots of looove.


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: A sweet little update. Hope you enjoy it! Cheers!

When I saw Daniel again (and he had enough time to have a conversation) he attacked me with all these questions about "my new friend". He was very annoying.

-Chloe is a very nice girl. I'm glad you have her as your friend. Where does she live?-

-Close.-

-You should invite her again so you guys can play or listen to music or whatever you kids do nowadays.- He smirked -Will you tell her to come?-

-Maybe.-

Suddenly I only saw white, as my dear cousin smacked a pillow against my face.

-Hey! What the hell is wrong with you!?- I snarled after I recovered from the surprise. He rolled his eyes at my antics.

-I'm not stupid enough to believe you don't know bad words, but please try not to use them in front of me, remember you owe me some respect, I'm your guardian.- I couldn't but burst out laughing at his remark and he followed promptly with a light titter. A few seconds later as I hadn't stopped howling he assaulted me with tickles and I almost fell to the floor with laughter.

-UNCLE! - I shouted between my roaring, begging him to stop. Finally he did and it took me a few moments before I regained my breath.

-You are very bad guardian. - I stated with my brow furrowed.

-Yeah? Well you are a horrible pupil. - He answered putting his arm around my shoulder. I just scowled at him.

-So, what do you think of Chloe?- He probed.

-She's nice. - I shrugged. Daniel didn't say anything for a whole minute. When I noticed this I turned my head to look at him. His expression was amusing, it was reflecting complete disbelief.

-What? - I asked unsure while smiling weakly.

-Nice? - He asked again not changing his facial contortion.

-Yeah, I think she is nice. Why?-

He seemed to sober a bit and arched his eyebrows.

-Nothing, it's just, it doesn't sound like something you would say.-

-Why does everyone seem to believe I hate the human race? - I huffed while crossing my arms.

-I don't think that, don't be over dramatic, but I thought you would rather take a punch to the gut than saying something positive about a girl.-

-Why? - I questioned really annoyed that this sounded a lot like the conversation I had had with Jesse.

-Because there hasn't been any other girl besides Amy that I've heard you have an interest in talking to, and you are always complaining about how annoying girls are.-

-They are! Most of them anyways.-

He just cackled.

-It's fine Frodo. You have a _real _new friend. I like that. - He remarked tapping my nose and ending our exchange.

xoxo

It was insane. Like stupidly idiotic. I hadn't stopped thinking about Chloe Beale for the last week. I just couldn't get over how her smile seemed to illuminate the whole room. And how her perfect red hair seemed as soft as silk. I was very embarrassed when I caught myself leaning in my chair at school to get a wisp of her smell. But I wasn't to blame really; if it was someone's fault it would be her's, who else was guilty of Chloe's hair smelling so enticing?

I started noticing little things about her. How she bit her lower lip when she was focused. The way she curled her hair around her fingers when she was distracted. How her eyelashes were so long that appeared to be caressing her skin every time she blinked.

It pissed me off big time when I saw her hanging out with Aubrey Posen. What could possibly be so cool about her? Chloe talked with her all the time, and it seemed that they were becoming fast best friends. It just made me growl under my breath. I thought I wanted to be Chloe's best friend, and realizing I wanted that scared me a bit. I was feeling weird stuff and thinking shit that had never crossed my mind before.

I lost my winner streak in basketball, and started losing almost every day. But I didn't care. Not even afterwards when Jesse came by to yell at me. I always just rolled my eyes and told him to suck it up. I was too distracted getting glimpses of the blue eyed doll that was always sitting eating lunch and talking with the blond witch. Me not giving a damn about losing (I tend to be a very competitive person) was what began to worry me.

When I hung out with Jesse and Amy, they would be the ones talking. I would just rest my head on my hand and looked at them without really looking. My mind was elsewhere. And it was beginning to show. One day before going with Chloe dress shopping, Amy stopped me after school. She wanted to talk to me before I headed home. I sighed a bit but nodded.

-What's up? - I spoke nonchalant.

-Your head, that's what's up. - She answered me with a rare look in her eyes.

-What? - I questioned confused.

-You've been in la-la land all week. Care to share what you've been daydreaming about, Beca? You've been scarily thoughtful. I would ask you if there was something wrong, but half the time you have a very weird smile in your face, so I guess everything's ok?- Amy commented and my stomach sank. Was it that obvious that something was going on? I wasn't even sure of that!

-Um…- I couldn't even form a coherent answer that would satisfy Amy's curiosity.

-Still we are worried; you haven't really talked to us about anything. Is there anything Jesse or I can do to help you?-

Finally I was able to organize my thoughts and responded Amy.

-I'm fine; you guys don't need to worry. I've just been busy thinking.-

-About what? - She pushed.

-Nothing just stuff. It's fine, I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow ok? - I didn't even give enough time for Amy to formulate a retort, I just fled, speed walking out of the building with a strong urgency to get home.

xoxo

The day arrived. We hadn't had talk too much that week. Only the occasional glances and her sweet and short reminders that Friday we would be going dress shopping with her mum, she would pick us up after school and she would drop me off later at home, so I wouldn't bring my bike over. My fingers were tapping incessantly against my chair for almost a good whole hour. I was excited and nervous at the same time. Could those two feelings even co-exist?

I didn't really like the idea of going shopping itself. I wasn't like it was a nightmare, but I hated going shopping for other people, when it was about MY stuff I normally had some "fun" but I didn't take longer than two hours in the whole "shopping trip". But when I went with Daniel to buy clothes for him, I got exasperated real quick and normally I would just sit in the store with a grimace on my face waiting for him to decide on whatever he was getting. He sometimes had the nerve to ask for my opinion. I typically responded with a glare and he would just laugh.

But for some odd reason (odd and weird being two ways I had been feeling the last weeks) I was very excited for school to come to an end so we could go on this shopping thing. I started wiping my hands against my shorts, they were sweating big time, and it was getting absurd. Finally the bell rang indicating that school was done for the day and the week considering it was Friday. I tried not to look too desperate to get out, and started packing my things at the same speed Chloe did. When she was done she turned to look at me and smiled.

-Guess we should be heading out; my mum will arrive any moment. - She commented. I just nodded dumbly.

She began to walk out and I went after her. She started talking to me about what color she wanted her dress to be, and I didn't know that much about dresses, so I just assented when it seemed appropriate. I couldn't imagine her not looking good in any color.

When we got out of the building her mum was already waiting in the street. We hopped in the car quickly. Her mum greeted me and I greeted back, much more merrily than I usually would, making me feel like an idiot. Wasn't it obvious something was off about me? Someone needed to slap me so I could get in touch with reality.

The drive didn't last long with Mrs. Beale chattering how her day at work had been. This time I surprised myself by actually listening to her, not just faking interest and agreeing with my head like a retard. I felt ashamed about how the first time that I had met Mrs. Beale I hadn't being the most polite person in the world, but in that moment Chloe wasn't as interesting as she was now, the reason of that was still a mystery even to me. Mrs. Beale was an accountant, and she worked in a little firm downtown. It was nice to listen to her, she was always kind and asked random things about me, and I tried to answer as coherently as I could, but I noticed that she didn't interrogate me in any way about my parents. I was somewhat grateful about that, it wasn't really the most comfortable topic you could discuss with a grown up.

When we arrived at the boutique Chloe took hold of my hand and dragged me towards the boutique while her mother parked her car. It was a very small store, but somehow it seemed appropriate for Chloe to shop there, there was a sweet scent in the air and there was a lot of pink. I smirked amused. Chloe just started to look around the rags to see if she could find anything she liked and I just glanced at her with contentment. She looked very happy doing this "dress hunting". Soon enough her mum joined us and helped Chloe with her quest. I just smiled to myself and sat close to the dressing rooms, which I knew for a fact, would be a place that Chloe was going to frequent much in the next hour or so, after all it wasn't like I would have a lot of insight in the dress picking business.

It wasn't that long until I got bored. Like really bored. Chloe and her mum were running around the store laughing and making comments about if they were going to pick something with or without ruffles, how long or short was it going to be, and actually discussed what was their favorite color, it just seemed pretty pointless to me. When they actually got to the dressing rooms, they locked themselves up there, leaving me restless and a bit desperate, patience was definitely not one of my virtues. They stayed there for about 20 minutes. I was about to pick my eyeballs when I heard the door in front of me open. Chloe and her mum had both a very proud grin on their faces, and were walking towards me.

_"Finally!"_

I was about to start debating if fleeing was a good option.

Then I really looked at Chloe and I think I almost choked.

_"Wow. What the hell? Why is she looking so… pretty?"_

I mean I already knew that Chloe was pretty, I wasn't a complete moron, but seeing her in that light blue dress while a knowing smirk was resting on her lips, her fire red hair waving although there was no breeze, and a little dimple forming in her cheek I thought I was seeing things. There was no way that a person could look like that. It was impossible that a human being could look so beautiful, lacking of faults, just pure… pureness. My heart started beating painfully in my chest and I became afraid she would hear it, my head was hurting with her image standing in front of me, but my eyes couldn't look anywhere else, I didn't even notice her mum standing right beside her. My mouth surely was hanging open and I tried closing it before I started drooling. I succeeded until the third time. I've never felt so confused before.

-So, what do you think? - She asked me looking down at her dress before settling her eyes on me again.

-Um. - I cleared my throat scared that if I didn't my voice would come out as a squeal. –It looks nice. - I stated as seriously and relaxed as I could, despite having the urge to bite my fingernails out of anxiety.

-You think? Mum and I believe this is the one. - She remarked very satisfied with my answer.

I inclined my head affirmatively and her mum hugged her out of excitement. I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach and suddenly wanted to throw up. Could I do that too? Hug her? Is that allowed? Who was I kidding? In that moment I was as ready to hug her as Daniel to sell our bar. It just wasn't going to happen.

The ride back home was blurry. I was in a trance. Shocked. What had just happened at the shop had me dumbfounded. I don't remember half the things Chloe told me, nor her mum. I just remembered stuttering my thanks for the evening while getting out of the car at the entrance of my building. When I was about to go through the door I glanced back and saw Chloe waving at me happily from her seat as her mum started driving away. I gripped the handle of the door so tightly that my knuckles went white. Finally realizing what was wrong with me. I just hadn't been able before to put two and two together and now it seemed blatantly obvious. How stupid could I have been? All the fast beating heart, all the gazes, all the sighs, all the hours thinking about what she thought of me, all the confusion, and all the painful stomachaches just indicated one thing. My eyes opened wide and I really thought I was going to crap on my shorts.

I was in love with her.

I was in love with the perky redhead that seemed to be happy all the time and just spent the whole day grinning like a fool. I was in love. I was an imbecile.

I was screwed.


	5. Chapter 4

Monday got faster than I believed it would.

I went to the park with Daniel both Saturday and Sunday to play a bit of baseball on his insistence, I wasn't feeling very up to it but he just kept pushing. I really regretted going, I just went to make a fool out of myself. I was so distracted Daniel almost hit me with the ball several times, and I think I was lucky enough not to hurt anyone when I pitched. My head was elsewhere and I just couldn't concentrate. My ball hit some picnic basket once, and several joggers had to dodge it a couple of times too. It was extremely embarrassing. I was feeling down and out of place. I mean, baseball wasn't my main worry at the time. Daniel gave me some preoccupied looks but I just ignored him. I wasn't about to tell him what was giving me problems to sleep at night. Not a chance.

Because the truth was that I hadn't been able to sleep quite well. The "falling" part was the difficult thing. I couldn't stop thinking about Chloe, and doing that kept my brain very active, not being easy just getting some sleep. Saturday night I dreamt about her after I did manage to fall asleep.

*I was in the park with Jesse and some other boys playing basketball while Amy sat in a bench watching us and drinking a juice pouch. I was pulling some nice moves impressing everyone as usual. All the kids there thought I was cooler than ice-cream, and that is saying something. Everything was going super cool until I heard a voice calling my name.

_"Beca"_

I stopped playing, with the ball in my hands, and looked around everywhere trying to find the source of that angelic sound. I didn't know who it was, but just because it was dream, in real life it would be impossible for me not to recognize that voice. Finally I found her. She was standing alone in the middle of nowhere. She was wearing that beautiful blue dress that made her look like a princess; she had a big smile on her face and was motioning at me so I would go to her.

I faltered a bit, hearing Jesse's groans of anger when I stopped playing, the ball in my hands and my body frozen, the other kids asked me confused what I was doing. But I just couldn't tear my eyes off of her. So, it was after all an easy decision. I dropped the ball hearing vaguely how the boys started shouting at me for being a disgusting betrayer, and how could I be leaving them for her. I didn't care. I started walking towards the girl, my girl, then, without me noticing I was running, I couldn't be happier in that moment. When I finally reached her, she gave me her bigger smile and hugged me. And I hugged her back.*

That's when I woke up. I was pissed as hell for the interruption, and tried to fall asleep again to continue my dream but my efforts were futile.

xoxo

When I arrived at school on Monday I was calmed, or at least I tried to look that way. I didn't want people finding out I had a "crush" on Chloe, not to mention being in love with her. I was planning on being really cautious. I would talk to her only if she addressed me and I would keep to myself, I wouldn't walk close to her and I would stay by Jesse's side at all times, maybe like that she wouldn't think of approaching me. It wasn't nice to find out that I was wrong.

When the bell rang indicating it was time for the break, she turned around to see me and started talking, just exactly what I needed.

-Hey Beca, how was your weekend?- she questioned playing with her hair and for a moment I thought it wouldn't be that bad if just lifted my hand and touched it, of course I regained control and stopped myself from being ridiculous. Also, saving a very long explanation for incoherent behavior.

-Fine, it was fine. Yours? - I responded politely glancing to my side to see that Jesse was waiting for me, ready to go on our break.

-It was great! I went out with dad and got a call from one of my friends back home. Did I ever tell you that I used to live in Atlanta? I really miss everyone. - She rambled, but she stopped herself abruptly and started talking again in a much more relaxed manner. -But anyways, would you like to go and have lunch with me and Aubrey?; I would love to talk to you a bit more.-

-WHAT? - I answered, my eyes almost popping out of their sockets. She wanted me to have lunch with her and the wicked witch of the west? It was common knowledge we couldn't stand each other's guts, I wasn't about to have a nice little lunch with her anytime soon. The mere thought of it made me feel like I was invited for tea with the mad hatter and the hare, and not in a could-be-fun kind of way let me tell you. I needed to find an excuse and fast.

-I said that...- she began but I interrupted.

-I know what you said. It's just that Jesse and I always have lunch together, or other friend Amy would too but she has her break at a different hour, you know, her being in another class.- I ranted trying to get out of this one.

-Oh, don't worry, he could join us too, it would be nice to meet him. - My stomach churned, I couldn't think of another good excuse and was incapable of actually saying no to her. I turned to see Jesse staring at us in confusion and I sighed. I looked back at Chloe and nodded my head. She squealed with delight and took my hand to guide me to the yard. I felt chills on my spine. I looked at Jesse again and told him to follow us. He still looked quite confused but assented nonetheless.

When we got to the yard Aubrey was already in that God forsaken bench getting her lunch out of her bag. Jesse looked at me as if I was insane and I just shrugged with a bit of fear. Chloe made me sit and Jesse did the same. Aubrey looked at me and I thought she was going to faint. I knew I wasn't welcome, but Chloe asked me to come, what was I to do?

-Aubrey, this is my friend Beca, and this boy here is her best friend Jesse. - She introduced us charmingly. As if nothing was wrong.

Aubrey looked at Chloe like she had grown another head.

-Yes, I know them Chloe. Jesse and I worked in that solar system project together. - Her words were a bit cold.

_"Just like her heart"_

-Oh that's right, I didn't remember that. - Chloe answered and took a bite of her sandwich. –How did you do by the way?-

-Fine, we did just fine.- Aubrey stated and looked at Jesse for a second before putting her eyes back on Chloe. Jesse agreed by nodding his head, but knowing him, they could have done the worst work in the history of school and Jesse would never dream of going against Aubrey, she was very intimidating that way, not that I gave a shit.

-Beca and I did super good too, we are a great team. - She squealed settling her glowing baby blues on me and I squirmed.

-Yeah. - I cleared my throat. - We did well.-

Jesse, being the cool kid he always was (he will never know I said that), started making easy conversation earning from me a very disbelieving look.

-So Chloe, you and Beca are friends right? - He questioned cautiously.

-Yeah, the best of friends. - She remarked huge grin and eyes sparkling and I almost swooned.

-Cool! Beca and I have been friends for a long time; we know almost everything about each other. - I just rolled my eyes at that, he definitely didn't know _everything._

-Really? - She asked in a very weird tone.

-Yeah, can you believe she hates movies? Isn't that like the strangest thing ever? - He snarled.

-Oh my gosh! Really? How could you not like movies Beca? Is that even possible? - She looked at me in awe.

-Um, yeah, not a fan. - I shifted on my seat; I was ok with Chloe talking to me but not with having the attention of two other people while Chloe did this. You see, I started thinking that Chloe was kind of naïve for noticing my obvious strange behavior around her, and I certainly didn't want people finding out I had a crush the size of Canada on this girl. Nuh uh, not an option.

-But how? Movies are really cool! I love going to the theater on weekends. It's a whole experience! There is one really close from here. Popcorn there is the most delicious thing ever. - She stated being oblivious that I was hanging to every word she said.

So, she liked going to the movies. I started thinking about how would it be like going with her, taking her there, would she be smiling the whole evening? And I would buy her popcorn, definitely, so she would know just how cool I was, and well, I liked popcorn too, it wouldn't be that bad going to watch a ridiculously boring movie if she was there with me, and if that made her happy I think I would be happy too.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice how an actual conversation took place, despite the topic being stupid and I couldn't really contribute to it. Aubrey, Jesse and Chloe were talking about movies. When I was conscious enough to realize this I couldn't but roll my eyes. Typical Jesse, when he had nothing else to talk about he went and used movies, always saying that everyone liked films and talking about them, I must be an alien.

-Do you think it's a good idea, going to the movies the four of us this weekend?- Jesse asked looking a bit scared and only after hearing that I paid attention. I was going to say something along the lines of "Hell no! You stupid?" but then I saw her. She was gazing at me intently, a big smile on her face and her shiny eyes were begging me to say yes. I faltered.

-Um… I don't… I guess it would be ok. - I responded feeling flushed.

Aubrey and Jesse both stared at me as if I had just said that I was going to wear a pink shiny dress the next day for school, something that was not going to happen anytime soon, Chloe on the other hand looked delighted and my stomach starting sinking with disbelief. Did I really made her smile?

-I think the four of us are going to be great friends.- Chloe finished the conversation with that sentence, and I could see from the corner of my eye how Jesse saw her like she was insane, and Aubrey looked pretty disconcerted herself. Despite almost agreeing with their obvious opinion I looked elsewhere and didn't say anything, I was very opinionated back then, but for some reason I didn't want to disagree with her, not in front of other people, she probably wouldn't like that, and it wouldn't be nice from me. Since when was I trying to be nice to anyone in any way? I sighed exasperated and stood up when the bell rang. Everyone did the same and we walked back to class.

xoxo

-So, you like Chloe. - I looked up instantly. Jesse and I were the last ones in the classroom, everyone having already left.

-What? - I said stupidly, feeling how the warm blush crept on my cheeks. What? How? When? Did he find out I was crushing on her?

-You wouldn't have agreed to have lunch with Aubrey if you didn't like Chloe. It's ok, I mean, I like her too. - He declared with a small smile.

I think my blood started to boil in that very moment. I could feel my face getting warmer but not because I was embarrassed. I never thought of that. What if someone else liked Chloe the way I did? And what if she liked them back? My hands started to shake as I fisted them but Jesse didn't seem to notice. I mean, I knew it would be possible, but Jesse was supposed to be my best friend, wasn't there a rule for friends not to like the same girl? He was going to try and snatch her away? That didn't seem like a very best friend thing to do. How in hell could he call himself my "best fucking friend" if he was going to be trying to pull something like that? Suddenly I felt hurt, hurt by Jesse and it felt like the most absurd thing ever, I didn't think I even liked him that much. What would I do? I couldn't just let him go and steal my girl away! I saw her first! I should have some sort of right stipulated somewhere! And besides, I didn't think Chloe liked him back, I mean I wished she didn't. I wouldn't know what to do if she actually liked him, or anyone else for that matter. I was starting to feel sick when Jesse interrupted my train of thought with a smirk.

-I think Amy would like her too if we introduce them. - He commented, oblivious to the mental tantrum I was throwing.

What the hell was he talking about? Now I was very confused. So a girl liking another girl wasn't really as unusual as I thought it was?

-I mean, I think everyone that actually talks to her likes her, she's a very nice girl, and seems like a good friend. - I immediately relaxed at his words. He wasn't using the word "like" in the same sense I was. I breathed deeply.

-She's nice. - I told him while standing up and packing my stuff.

-I think we can all be friends. - He stated with a smile.

-Yeah, sure. - I still frowned. Now I knew Jesse thought of Chloe in a different way that I did, but the fact that I would have to share her with someone else, Aubrey being already enough of a burden, didn't really sit that well on me.

He grinned and waved leaving me alone. I just stood there thinking everything through and scowled.


	6. Chapter 5

We didn't have class on Friday.

It was Columbus Day, and I very grateful to him for giving us a holiday. Sometimes I just needed to breathe. A day with no school meant a day that I wouldn't see anybody from my class, and that meant a day without seeing Chloe Beale. Don't get me wrong, I was losing my mind for the girl, but it was nice to just relax for a minute and worry only about myself. So, yeah, I really needed some sort of break.

I decided to ride my bike for a couple of hours to make most of my free time. Maybe I'd go to the park, or would just wander around. Chloe Beale lived really close to the park, almost in front of one entrance. I was going to the park really. It had nothing to do with her house being there, and I stopped just in front of her building to regain my breath, it wasn't because I wanted to see her. Right.

I stood outside for a couple of minutes just looking at her building. I guessed there were uncool things about having a day off at school. I scratched my head thinking about what to do. Should I just go and rang her bell to see if she was home? Probably she wasn't. I mean, why would she be home when she could be doing a lot of stuff today, having no school. But I really wanted to see her so I just stared at the front door of the building while chewing my bottom lip, trying to be brave and convince myself to just go and see if she was home.

I started getting paranoid. I saw the doorman glancing at me as if he knew what I was doing. How could that be possible? Would he call the police to tell them there was some stalker wandering around the building? Or would he just make fun of me internally? I bet that was what he was doing. Freaking doorman was an asshole. As you can see I was a total idiot.

Then I saw her and her mother walking out from the building and I almost peed. I quickly hid behind a tree. What if she saw me? Would she think I was some creep stalking her? I shook my head, Chloe Beale would never think like that. So, I should just go and say hi to her. Greet her and Mrs. Beale. Like the polite young woman I was. Yeah, that was what I was going to do, just approach them and say hi. Before I knew it I was cowering and running away from the scene.

What a coward! Chloe Beale didn't deserve a horrified pansy like me. I was such an idiot! Why couldn't I just go there and talk to her? I closed my eyes tightly for a second while accelerating on my bike.

_"So stupid, so stupid" _I kept repeating on my mind while growling.

How long had it took for me to open my eyes again I'm not quite sure, but when I did I saw her right in front of me and I was about to crash into her.

I stopped my bike stumblingly and almost fell head first to the floor, but I avoided hitting her, so I guess it would have been worthy.

-Beca? - She asked confused when she saw who I was.

I regained composure and nodded saying hi to her and her mum, who looked worried about me.

-Hi Chloe, hi Mrs. Beale! How are you doing today? - I said with a dorky smile.

-We are fine Beca, but didn't you hurt yourself? You have got to be more careful. - Chloe's mum reprimanded me, but I was okay with it for the moment.

-I'm fine, don't worry, I will try to be more careful. - I replied to her mum.

-What are you doing here? - Chloe inquired curiously.

I wasn't about to answer I've been watching her house for a while behind a tree. She would definitely think I was a freak.

-I was around the neighborhood. Just riding my bike. Where are you going? - Around the neighborhood? How lame could I get?

-Oh! Mum just wants to go the park for a bit, she wants to take a walk and I joined her. Would you like to come? - She smiled at me and I smiled back at her invitation.

-Sure! That would be nice.-

We walked a bit around the park, me not knowing exactly what to say, and she was unusually silent. Was I cowering again? Just what I needed. After a while her mum decided to sit for a bit in a bench and we did the same in another one that just was very close by.

-So, you come very often? - I started trying to make some conversation, with the most lame and unimportant question I could ask. You come here often? Bitch please, the girl lived two minutes walking from there.

-To the park? I've been here a couple of times; I mean I live very close by. What about you?-

-Almost every weekend. Me and Dan, we like to come together and play baseball and stuff.-

-That's nice, I don't know much about baseball but Dad is a huge fan, he hates Yankees though. - She grinned at me. I rolled my eyes.

-I guess it's acceptable since he's not from here, but try not to say that aloud. I think you are nice so I'm cool with it but other people may not be. - I exaggerated trying to earn a laugh from her.

-You think I'm nice? - She questioned her eyebrows high.

-Well, yeah… I mean, you are cool. - I stuttered and she just snickered. I loathed myself for feeling like I did. I mean, it was crazy. She was just a girl for God's sake, she wasn't a New York Knick or something.

We stayed quiet for a bit and I thought our conversation had gone down the drain, but she surprised me when she started talking again.

-Have I told you I have a brother? - I shook my head. I didn't know that.

-His name is Cameron. - She continued. –He is still in Atlanta. He attends college there. I miss him. - I could hear the nostalgia in her voice and it made my stomach sink.

-I'm sure he misses you too. - I mumbled and she looked at me warmly. –How could he not? He has a very cool sister. - She laughed at that.

Conversation started flowing very easily from then on. We talked about school, friends (I didn't say anything mean about Aubrey considering she was her friend), music we liked, and whatever we liked doing on our free time. When she told me she loved to dance and had studied ballet since she was 5 I wasn't that surprised. She was just so full of poise and grace. When she asked me if I would like to go with her to one of her classes I almost barfed. It was cool she was into that; it was her thing not mine. She laughed at my reaction and I laughed with her.

-I would rather buy you ice-cream than do that. - I said before I knew I was talking. I started to feel some heat on my cheeks.

-Really? I will hold you to that. - She stated still laughing.

-Do you want it now? - I asked trying to get myself together.

-What?-

-The ice-cream. - I bravely said.

-Um, sure I guess. - She smirked at me.

She stood up and I followed to where her mum was. Mrs. Beale was talking on the phone when we reached her, she saw us, covered the speaker with her hand and asked us what's was going on.

-We are going to go for some ice-cream, we won't take much. - Chloe explained with a little smile.

Her mother nodded and reached for her purse to get some money but I stopped her.

-It's fine Mrs. Beale. I owe it to Chloe, this one's on me. - I remarked.

Her mum looked at me a bit surprised but didn't say anything about it. She told us just to take care and be back at most in 20 minutes.

Going for that ice-cream I realized walking with Chloe was one of the most exciting things ever, and all we were doing was walking and exchanging words. I just felt happy. I bought her an ice-cream and got one for me when we were at the ice-cream truck. I paid for them and suddenly I felt, I don't know, powerful, like I could do anything. Our walk back was equally entertaining. She told me she loved going to art galleries with her parents and that she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up.

-I want to help people; I think being a doctor would let me do that. - She commented. –What about you Beca, what do you want to do when you grow up?-

I thought for a moment not sure what I should say, but the truth didn't sound as stupid as it would have in any other moment.

-I always wanted to be a pitcher for the Yankees, and if it happens it would be really cool. But lately I've been thinking I would like to be a musician.-

-Really? Like who? - She questioned her eyes sparkling with interest.

-I don't know. I would love to be like David Guetta I guess. - I smirked thinking about it.

-He is awesome! - Chloe remarked. –You would be a great DJ.

-Thanks.-

A comfortable silence reigned over. But I could see from the corner of my eye that Chloe wanted to say something.

-So, tell me about your parents. - She said while looking at my face.

-My parents?-

_"Sore topic love"_

I may have loved the girl but I wasn't about to let her give me therapy or try to fix me. It was a very delicate theme I suppose.

-Yeah, your father died, you told me. - I nodded. –What happened to him?-

-He got sick, and no one knew, so no one could help him. - That was the most that was going to be coming out of my mouth.

-And what about your mum? Why you never met her? - She asked again, looking at me intently.

-She died a little time after she gave birth to me. - I answered robotically. I wasn't too comfortable now.

-And what happened to her? - She interrogated me and that was all I could take.

-Can we talk about something else? - I didn't mean to sound harsh, but I did. I noticed that when I saw her looking down with hurt.-

-I'm sorry. - I apologized. –It's just… not my favorite topic, I really don't like talking about that. It has nothing to do with you. - I felt the need to say that.

She just glanced at me and a little grin broke into her face.

And that was it. After we arrived with her mum I said my goodbyes, I had to be home before it was too late. Her mother hugged me tightly and made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but after her Chloe was the one squeezing my body and I almost squealed. It felt so good I even hugged her back. We parted both with smiles.

When I arrived home I was humming some Bruno Mars song I had heard recently. Daniel looked at me weirdly while I was doing that but made no comment. I got to my room and lay on my bed staring at the ceiling with a dumb smile and my eyes half closed. That Chloe Beale made me feel things I've never felt before and it was almost annoying. But it wasn't. She was amazing.

_"Just the way you are."_


	7. Chapter 6

We agreed to meet at the old cinema close to school saturday at noon. Jesse was very anxious about it and spent the whole week thinking about which movie we should watch, pretty annoying if you ask me. He even requested my point of view, but I just shrugged explaining I knew nothing about movies, which was kind of true. He seemed to accept that and went back to his musings, not before nagging me about being a "weirdo". Right.

I was anxious in a whole different way. It would be my first date with Chloe, even if she didn't know it. I spent my whole free time thinking how exactly would the night go, what she would say and what would I do, but I guess my imagination wasn't that developed because I just couldn't get used to the idea of going somewhere alone with her. I mean, we weren't really going to be alone, Jesse and Aubrey would be there to spoil my evening, but still, it felt like it was some sort of date. Jesse's mum had agreed to meet us outside the cinema after the movie was over, and she was going to be the one seeing that I got home safely. Aubrey and Chloe were going to be picked up by Mrs. Posen. I would have liked to walk Chloe home or something, but we were eleven, and walking around the street after 6:30 pm was probably something her parents wouldn't be happy about.

I arrived almost half an hour early. No one was there yet. I just couldn't help wanting to get out of home as soon as I could. I felt like I was dying out of anxiety. It wasn't like I was super excited and wanted to be with Chloe as soon as I could. No, it wasn't that really. I just was super bored and thought that maybe our little adventure at the movies would be sort of fun. Right. I hadn't had any problems picking what I would wear either, nor brushing my hair maybe a bit too much. That didn't happen either.

After 10 minutes of me pacing around the sidewalk Jesse arrived. He was grinning like a fool when he saw me and quickly reached me at the entrance. We bumped fists and his face told me he had immediately noticed there was something off.

-Are you wearing perfume? - His eyes looked confused. I suddenly felt very self-conscious.

-Of course not, what are you saying? - I smirked nervously trying to make him think that he was imagining things.

-Ok, it's just that you sort of smell like a mall store.-

-Hopefully game planet. - I joked trying to distract him a bit and he chuckled.

That's when I heard it. Some giggling. Close, very close. I felt goosebumps on my spine and turned around knowing exactly who was gonna be behind me. There she was with her wavy red hair and those eyes that haunted me at night. Walking towards me. It felt like a dream really. A small smile started to form on my face, imagining she would get to me and hugged me. Then Jesse broke my deliriousness by stepping in front of me and greeting Aubrey who was right beside Chloe and I conveniently hadn't noticed before. Chloe still approached me and hugged me. She hugged me. Her arms around my neck. I clumsily got my arms around her torso and squeezed her lightly, eyeing Aubrey and Jesse who were speaking with each other and weren't really looking our way. I felt something bubbling on my stomach while my neck and ears started to get warm, they were probably pounding red. I took a discreet sniff of her hair. God, it smelled so sweet. I would give up ice-cream for life if I could inhale that scent every day. She let go of our embrace sooner that I would have liked.

-Glad to see you Beca! - She exclaimed her pearly white teeth showing.

-Glad to see you too. - I cracked a smile shyly.

Aubrey looked at me and I looked back. She nodded at me and I did the same. Surprisingly, I wasn't dying to exchange words with her.

-Come on guys! We got to buy our tickets. - Jesse pressured excitedly grabbing my shoulder leading me into the theater, the girls following us closely behind. I just glared at him; I didn't really like being touched. Well, except if the one touching me was Chloe, but that wasn't the point.

Jesse and Aubrey bought their tickets, and the next one in line was me. Chloe was behind me talking with Jesse about Atlanta, the place where she used to live at before she came to the city. I listened intently until it was my turn.

-Um two tickets please, same movie the girl before me chose. - I said referring to Aubrey.

The lady behind the counter nodded and gave me my tickets. I paid for them and that was it. Chloe looked at me confused. The courage I had to buy those two tickets left me in that moment.

-You bought two? Why? - She inquired curiously.

-Yes, for you and me, so we don't lose any more time, the movie is going to start in a few and we need to buy popcorn, you will pay me later, ok?- I gave the best excuse I could, and wasn't really going to ask Chloe for the money **,** but I didn't really know what to say.

She smiled satisfied and we went to the candy store. When we were in line I turned to Chloe who was standing beside me.

-Would you like to share a big one with me? It would be a bit more practical. - I asked trying to look cool.

-Sure, then I would pay for the popcorn and we would be even right? - She returned smiling.

I couldn't find another excuse so I could pay for it, so I just nodded a bit disappointed. She got the popcorn and thanked the clerk with a smile. I glared at him almost automatically.

When we got to the auditorium where the movie was going to be played, I made sure I was going to be seated between her and Jesse. I knew he didn't like her like that, but still it made me feel a bit better. Also, it wasn't in my plans to be all friendly with Aubrey, so sitting beside her was a no-no. So Chloe and the WWW (Wicked Witch of the West) were both corners, to Aubrey's distaste.

The stupid movie started just after we had settled down. I wasn't even really watching it. It seemed boring and I didn't even like movies. I just kept eyeing the girl beside me as discreetly as I could. She didn't really notice; my girl was a bit clueless about how I felt. Ok, maybe she was clueless in general. I didn't have to worry about Jesse perceiving that something was wrong. He was too engrossed in the film I could have started to lick my toes and he would still be too absorbed to spot it.

I looked at the screen trying to find something interesting about it when I recognized some images. I groaned. We were watching a horror movie. I didn't like movies in general but horror movies were the worst. They were so predictable; you could tell what was going to happen next in any part of the film. I was deciding if I should just take a nap when I felt a hand holding my own. I looked at my right and I saw Chloe with her eyes tightly closed and a grimace of discomfort on her face. She was scared.

-Are you okay? - I whispered in her ear, taking advantage on the fact that it's not right to speak at the movies to get close to her. What a smart kid I was.

-Yes, I just get scared very easily.- She confessed opening her eyes just a little bit, and closing them quickly again when something "terrifying" happened in the film, which I couldn't care less about.

-It's okay. You can hold my hand if it makes you feel better. - I was such a hero. Such a sacrificing hero. I was definitely not taking advantage of the situation. I smirked. Then my breath caught in my throat. It was one thing to just hold my hand, but to intertwine our fingers seemed so much… intimate. I gulped and squeezed her hand, getting a muttered thanks from Chloe. I just nodded, my eyes glued to the screen in front of me, even though I wasn't really watching anything.

The movie continued and I actually got comfortable holding Chloe's hand like that when the end of the thriller was approaching. Then the most "scary" scene from the crappy film happened and Chloe almost jumped, turning to me and burying her face in the crook on my neck. I am surprised I didn't jump myself. My stomach and head were spinning, and her warm breath against my neck wasn't helping. I thought that, despite me liking the way she was holding onto me, if she didn't let go of me, I would probably combust or something.

Fortunately she did let go a couple of seconds later, leaving me quite giddy and instantly missing the closeness we had shared. The movie had just ended and I had almost peed on my pants, and not because the movie was "frightening". She untangled our fingers and I felt somewhat disappointed but did my best to hide it. When we were reaching the entrance I could see Jesse grinning like an idiot while Aubrey looked mildly satisfied. Chloe on the other hand was back to normal, being all smiles again and it didn't really look like she had been terrified minutes before.

As promised Jesse's and Aubrey's mum were at the entrance waiting for us. They were talking cheerily about mum stuff. I guess, I never paid attention to mother's interactions with one another. When they saw us they walked our way and Mrs. Posen urged Aubrey and Chloe to say their goodbyes. Jesse and I got both a handshake from Aubrey and a quick hug from Chloe (too quick for my liking but there were people around). They left shortly after that and I just stared at them while they walked away. Jesse poked me on the side so I would look at him, and I did kind of annoyed. He just smiled and pointed at her mother who already had stopped a cab and was waiting for us.

xoxo

I arrived home at 7 pm. It was Saturday so I wasn't surprised to see Daniel home, it was his night off after all. He had a beer in his hand and his legs were resting on the table. He saw me coming in and waved at me so I would get close. I did and then he motioned at a chair so I would take a seat. I furrowed my brow but did it anyway.

-How were the movies Hobbit? - He asked taking a sip of his drink.

-Fine, I guess. - I shrugged. He smiled gently.

-I'm pretty proud of you Hobbit. You are making new friends.-

I looked at him deeply. Not even thinking about what he had just said. Since I had started feeling stuff for Chloe Beale Dan and I hadn't had a real talk. It's not like we used to talk about our feelings or mushy stuff like that every weekend, but I liked to believe we were pretty close, and now I wasn't feeling close to anyone. Not to him, not to Jesse, not to anyone. And I knew the root of this was the fact that I was hiding something that was kind of big. Something was bugging me big time, and I hadn't told Dan. It made me nervous, thinking about telling him what was going on, and it wasn't something I thought I was ready to do, but I needed something, some acknowledgement that everything was going to be fine, or even some small and useless advice, anything that would make me feel I wasn't alone in that situation.

He caught me staring and raised his beer.

-What? You want some? - He snickered at me. I rolled my eyes at his dumbness and shook my head.

-Something's wrong? - He inquired his voice sounding a bit worried. I breathed deeply and looked down before I started talking.

-Have you ever… you know, liked someone? - I asked in a very quiet manner.

-Well yeah, not everyone is like you, you big hater. - He laughed not catching my meaning.

-That wasn't what I meant jerk. - I rambled looking everywhere but him.

-You mean like as in I'd-like-to-date-you like? - He looked astonished with realization.

I hesitated before nodding a couple of times.

-Oh. - And then an uncomfortable silence reigned over the room. I didn't look up to see him and he wasn't saying anything so I just started fidgeting with my hands waiting, for something, I didn't even know what I was expecting.

-Well. - He cleared his throat. –As a matter of fact I have _liked liked _several girls throughout my life. It is not that big of a deal.-

-And... How do you know exactly if you like someone? - I asked hesitantly.

-I suppose it changes for everyone. I know that I like someone when I just want to be around her and making her smile, even if I look like a fool trying to do it. And, you know, I would like to touch her… her hand I mean, maybe even kiss her.- he said a bit more at ease with the topic.

The symptoms were indicating my diagnosis had being correct. Except for the kissing part because I hadn't even thought of that. I inwardly groaned. Now I had started thinking about how it would be to kiss her and that wasn't a good sign. I shook my head trying to regain control of my train of thought and focused in the conversation I was having.

-What should you do? When you like someone? - I interrogated trying to clear my doubts as much as I could.

-Again depends on the person. I would just tell her I like her and ask her out, I think. - He replied with a toothy grin.

Tell her I liked her? That wasn't going to happen anytime soon. I would freak out and probably faint before I could. That if I didn't suffer from a stroke and died before I could do it. I just stayed in silence trying to organize my ideas.

-Do you like someone? - I heard my cousin talking and I looked up instantly.

-No! Of course not! That's absurd! - I growled pretending to be offended. Daniel raised his eyebrows in mocking disbelief.

-Maybe. Sort of. - I mumbled feeling my ears warming up.

-There is nothing wrong with that Beca. It's totally normal at your age for you to start being interested in people in a different way. I mean I don't really see you dating some boy, but I guess I just have to get used to the idea. - He said chuckling nervously and started a big rant about the birds and the bees and I didn't need that at that moment.

I felt the muscles in my stomach clench, and my puking reflexes wanting to kick in. I never lied to Daniel, and if I didn't tell him that he was mistaken it would feel like I was doing just that.

-Shut up. - I stopped his rant. He did and stared at me waiting for me to say something.

-It's not a boy. - I muttered a bit scared, but the idea of someone thinking that Chloe was some boy made me want to kick someone on the shin.

Daniel stared at me confused for a couple of seconds before he opened his eyes wide as saucers and his mouth hung like he was retarded. In another situation I would have laugh at him in mock, but right now I really wanted him to say something. Whatever, just something.

He took a while to recover, his mouth closing and opening like he was choking for lack of oxygen. Finally, he closed his mouth and eyes and sighed deeply. My knees were shaking with fear, I didn't really know what he was going to say or think about me. He opened his eyes and smiled a very small grin.

-It's okay Beca. - He said confusing me.

-It is? - I asked cautiously.

-It is. - He nodded standing up and walking to me so he could embrace me tightly.

It was sort of awkward as we didn't hug nor anything like that frequently, except in birthdays or Christmas, but that's kind of mandatory. I returned the hug sloppily when my shock wore down. He let go after a few moments a bigger smile on his face.

-I'm sorry if I looked shocked Frodo, but you cannot blame me, you didn't prepare me for something like that. You gotta warn a guy. - He snickered jokingly. –But seriously Beca don't go saying stuff like that out of the blue, not everyone may get it.-

I nodded without really understanding the last part of his sentence.

-Man, this is priceless, you come out at 11. Oh my god. - He said still smiling but rubbing his fingers on his temple.

-I´m almost twelve. - I defended myself. –And what does come out even mean?-

-Um, you know, when someone accepts that, umm, they like another someone of their same gender… it's called coming out. - He tried to explain stumblingly. In his face he seemed to realize something.

-Um Beca, does this means, that you are, you know gay? - He asked regaining his nervousness from a few minutes ago.

I didn't know the answer to that. I really didn't. And suddenly everything felt overwhelming. Why I couldn't understand from the very beginning what was happening to me?

-I don't know. - I should have looked like I was about to cry or something because Dan just started talking really fast about how it didn't matter if I knew or I didn't, that I was still too young, and it didn't matter if I was gay, or straight or a fucking unicorn, the only thing that mattered was me being happy.

I accepted his answer stopping the set of fresh tears that was threatening to come out of my eyes. Seeing this Daniel sighed and hugged me once more. This time it wasn't that awkward.

xoxo

A/n: Hello! Here we have a new chapter, took a little while but I think it's not that bad. Please review and tell me what you guys think! I'll appreciate it. Cheers!


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